SAN FRANCISCO, Dennis walked a customer to the gluten free aisle.
She thanked him.
He smiled for her and went back to the counter.
He took out the novel he had been reading lately, and got back into it— Jennie by Douglas Preston. It was about a chimpanzee living with a human family.
The book kept him engaged; though some events in the story made him sad.
It felt nice to get into a book—forget his own life for a moment.
He read a lot, since giving up his television, but until Jennie, he hadn't managed to truly get into a novel. He dwelled on the surface of the stories, and even worse, sometimes he'd read a string of words and they wouldn't translate into images or ideas.
Dennis hated when that happened.
Things were better now.
He liked his book.
He had helped two customers today without feeling hateful towards them; nor did he see their needs as complete nonsense. It was also his third day in a row of coming into work. He was embarrassed by the amount he had missed recently.
Elsa had been kind enough to take over for him. As a thank you, he sent her away for a short holiday. He would work two more days; then he was going to take a break.
On his day off, he planned to work on a garden. Nancy used to take care of that but since her death, it had gone to weed. He needed to fix that.
He had also purchased some how-to-draw books.
He was getting good at drawing Mickey Mouse and Winnie-the-Pooh. When he got even better, he’d send some drawings off to Kayla. She'd probably appreciate that.
***
Three young women entered the store. He looked up from his book and gave a small nod. He hoped they'd notice the no cell phone sign on the window, so he wouldn't have to say anything to them.
They seemed immersed in their conversation with each other.
Were they arguing?
Dennis decided it was none of his business.
He got back to his book. He slowly read a page; then realized he didn't absorb any of it.
He tried again. He tried to block out the women's conversation, but words slipped in.
Death
Jesus
Delusional
Change
Give it Up
Bible
Clinging.
Two of the women picked on the third woman who sounded very agitated.
He'd probably need to put up another sign at the store. No Arguing or Fighting Here.
He tried again to ignore the women and get back into the book. It seemed to be impossible.
He then tried to just sit there, not reading but also not listening.
That didn’t work either.
The third woman wanted to continue believing in her Christianity. She believed the Bible was true, and she still believed in heaven and hell.
Her friends said she was delusional; that Christianity had been proven to be wrong.
"It's time to move on," one of the women said in a strict, condescending tone.
"I have faith," the Christian said stubbornly. "You can't take that away from me."
"You're absolutely pathetic," one of the other woman said. Then she and the second woman walked away, leaving the Christian behind.
Dennis hated that he had heard the conversation. He should probably turn his business into a mail-order one, so he didn’t have to deal with all this.
***
Soon, two of the women left.
The Christian stayed behind. Alone. She was quiet.
Dennis read and, this time, managed to get back into the story.
When the woman finished shopping and came to the counter, she asked. "Are you a Christian?"
He felt more embarrassed for her than angry for asking such a bold question. What business was it of hers? Was she going to try to convert him?
"No," he said simply and continued ringing up her items.
"Were you a Christian before all of this happened?"
"No," he said.
Neither of them said anything. He finished ringing her up and watched as she slid her credit card across the scanner. Then his mouth spoke without his brain's explicit permission. "I'm an atheist." He didn't mean to do it, and he dreaded the consequences. He expected to get one of those flimsy mini books with pictures of Satan and people burning in hell.
Instead she laughed. "Really! Oh no. And I thought I had it bad. I imagine things are even worse for you." She shook her head in sympathy.
She took her bags and started to walk towards the door. Then she stopped and turned around. She looked him in the eye and said. "Hey…try to stay strong."
"I will," he said quietly. Then when she was gone, he said. "Thanks."
Continue to Chapter Thirty
Go Back to Chapter Twenty-Eight
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