Chapter 35

GAINESVILLE, Jessica sat on her couch next to Frankie.

He texted his ghost mother, while Jessica looked at their Atlanta photos on Flickr. She had just finally gotten around to uploading them.

She and Frankie were still just friends but not by Jessica’s choice. Her feelings for him had gone up many notches.

She still didn’t know if he was gay or not.

Was he not making a move because he was shy? Because he didn’t understand the so-called rules?

Did he like to take things very slowly?

Maybe he expected to be rejected.

Were they in different leagues?

She wasn’t actually sure who'd be in the higher one. In her eyes, they were both attractive. 

He was probably gay.

But then why hadn't he told her?

 *** 

When Frankie stopped texting his mum, she decided to just get on with it. Why keep making it a mystery?

She meant to just blurt it out but then she felt too awkward.

So they talked about other things: mothers, fathers, Australian soap operas, the best frozen yogurt toppings, the fact that neither of them liked Skittle. And they questioned whether The Simpsons would go on forever, with the cast doing voices beyond the grave.

Then she opened her mouth to ask but instead they talked about Carrie.

Both agreed the old movie was better, and neither of them had read the book. They hadn’t read anything from Stephen King and figured that was a failure on both of their parts.

They made a pact to read one of his books before the summer ended.

It  was when they said good-bye, and Frankie was about to walk out the door, that she asked. "Are you gay?" 

"Yes," he said simply.

So that was that.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked and worried she was not doing a good job hiding her disappointment.

"I thought maybe you already knew."

He stepped back into the apartment.

She made room for him.

They both took a few steps away from the door.

"And I think I worried that, if I announced it, you would think I was making the assumption that you had feelings for me. Like...hey, hands off baby. I'm gay."

Jessica was very embarrassed now.

"So did you know?"

"Sort of," she said.

"If I wasn’t gay, I promise I'd totally be into you." 

"Who said I'd be into you back?" she challenged.

"You asked me out on a date."

"That was just as friends!"

"So you say."

Jessica tried to laugh but found she was not in the mood.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." But she wasn’t.

"Well, I'll see you later. Tomorrow, I guess."

"See ya." She tried to sound cheerful and casual.

***

 She waited until he left. Then the tears fell. She hated that he was gay, and she hated herself for hating it. It made her feel homophobic, though she knew she wasn’t. She was just disappointed. 

But she'd get over it.

Eventually.

Continue to Chapter Thirty-Six

Go Back to Chapter Thirty-Four