LONDON, Arthur cleaned up the kitchen, while Bernard slept on the couch. He decided not to be annoyed that he had cooked and was now doing the cleaning. Bernard had a long day. Twelve hours on the set.
Arthur had gone to work too but only for seven hours. Besides, Bernard had offered to pick up something for dinner. Arthur had been game for that, craving Indian food.
He declined the offer, though. Eating out cost a lot. Cooking saved money.
He made vegan chili and some garlic bread. It all came out fine.
He was getting better at cooking and better at saving money.
Last week he had given up giving up breakfast when he realized that he made up for it elsewhere. He wasn't saving money or saving calories.
Now he was smarter about things. He had even lost two pounds.
Bernard didn’t notice.
That was okay. It was only two pounds.
Arthur finished washing dishes and turned off the water. Now he could hear Bernard snoring. What would his fans think about that?
Arthur walked into the den and then videotaped Bernard snoring. He then uploaded the video to YouTube and posted a link on Twitter.
He exited his wicked daydream with a grin. If he ever got very mad at his husband….
No, Arthur would never sink that low.
Bernard farted.
Arthur laughed, perhaps too loudly.
Bernard woke up, looking disoriented. "What?" He met Arthur's eyes and smiled. "Hi."
"Hello."
"Sorry I fell asleep."
Arthur liked how Bernard presented it as an accident. What did he expect to happen if he lay down on the couch after a big meal?
"Don't worry about it."
Bernard slowly sat up. "I'll do the dishes."
"Already done," he said; then quickly added. "You must be exhausted."
"You're too good to me."
Arthur smiled.
"What are we going to do when you get your big break, and you're too busy to take care of me?"
"As if that will ever happen."
"It will," Bernard said with conviction. "You have to believe in yourself."
"I do," Arthur said. He didn’t. But he wasn’t in the mood for a pep talk from his successful husband. Sometimes it felt too….charitable. He heard his phone ring from the side table. He picked it up. It was his dad.
Arthur knew he should answer, but he didn't. He put the phone down.
Bernard looked at him for an explanation.
"My dad. I'll call him later."
Bernard reached out and took his hand. He pulled Arthur down. They sat on the couch together. Bernard kissed Arthur. He whispered in his ear. "I love you."
Arthur kissed him back. He tried to be passionate but lost his drive. The problem was, he realized he had to shit. Or maybe it was only a fart. He did just have chili. He didn’t want to fart while kissing.
He was totally comfortable farting in front of his husband. Usually. But not during sex stuff. That's just not right.
"Excuse me," Arthur said. "Have to use the toilet."
"I'll be waiting," Bernard said in his sex voice. It seemed misplaced in the particular context. It wasn’t like Arthur said he was going to go and slip into something more comfortable.
Should he warn Bernard that it might be awhile? No, not a good idea. It would ruin the mood even more, and what if it was a false alarm?
***
It wasn’t a false alarm.
Arthur was on the toilet for many minutes. He called out midway through. "Sorry. I'll be out soon."
"No worries!" Bernard called back.
But when Arthur finally got out, Bernard was talking to his ghost sister on FaceTime.
In the bygone days, Bernard and Sandy were close in age. Now she was a child, while he was a man. She tried to look older by wearing a pantsuit and a sophisticated hairstyle, but it just made her look like a child playing dress-up.
Sandy saw Arthur in the room and gave him a little wave.
He waved back.
"One minute," Bernard mouthed to him.
"Maybe we'll get back to it tomorrow," Arthur suggested.
"Do you mind?" Bernard asked.
Arthur wondered what Bernard would say if he responded with,"Yes I mind. You led me on. Stop talking to your ghost sister and make love to me now."
Truth was, he didn’t mind. He wasn’t really in the mood, anyway. He went into the bedroom with his phone. He'd call his dad back.
No.
He didn’t want to. He didn’t like talking to his father.
But what if there were some kind of problem? An emergency? What if mom was sick? What if something had happened to Zoe or Taylor?
No. It was probably something trivial. Maybe his dad wanted to brag about something. He did that a lot.
Was it horrible for him to not return a call from his father?
Yes, definitely. He'd call him back sometime.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe he'd pretend to get confused about time zones and leave a return message in the morning. That way it would be in the middle of the night in Atlanta. International phone tag was a good way to avoid talking to someone.
Arthur decided he'd be a good son and call his father back.
Eventually.
For now, he'd make up for his avoidance by calling another family member. He hadn’t talked to Zoe in a while.
He was about to call when the phone rang again.
It was his dad.
He could ignore one phone call once with minimal guilt. Two calls was another story.
He answered. "Hi, Dad.
"Hello!" His dad said with enthusiasm, using the same voice he used for company speeches. "How's my favorite son?"
Ha ha.
Arthur told his father he was fine. Yes, he had heard his father was going to be on a local TV ad about gay marriage. Yes, that was great. Yes, his job at the toy store was going well. No, he did not know Zoe had a new boyfriend and that things were getting serious. Yes he'd come back to Atlanta if there was a wedding. No, he doesn’t watch The Voice.
Taylor was doing well. His mother was doing well. Arthur was glad about all that. But he was bored.
Finally, his father said he had to get back to work. Arthur said good-bye. He was exhausted and not in the mood to talk anymore. But he had it in his mind to call his sister and felt bad canceling that plan.
He called Zoe. She sounded tired, which was understandable. She worked at a daycare, the one at Joker Jenson headquarters. Arthur wondered what it would feel like, being with kids all day.
Arthur had children coming into the store but usually their parents dealt with them. Even that, though, could stress him out at times.
Despite being tired, Zoe told him about her day. He told her about his, including sex being canceled because of his bowel's bad timing.
No, he didn’t really talk to her about that. He actually didn’t tell her much. It was mostly just small talk.
He told her about making dinner and how he was into cooking.
"I need to cook more," she said. "I'm horrible at it."
They continued to chat about various things, both not really into it.
Then Arthur remembered something important. The man she was dating! How rude. He should have brought it up earlier. "Heard you're quite serious with some guy? Someone who works with dad?"
Yuck. Why would she want to date someone who worked with their father? Arthur decided he'd marry a woman before dating a man who worked with his dad.
"Where did you hear that?"
"Dad. He said it's really serious, and I should start packing for the wedding."
"Ha," Zoe said."Dad's exaggerating a bit. It's not very serious."
"So he hasn't proposed yet?"
Zoe laughed in a way that sounded more forced than amused.
"Do you like him?" Arthur asked.
"Yeah. I do. For the most part…."
"But not as much as dad likes him?"
"Dad really likes him," she said.
"That doesn't mean you have to," Arthur said
"I know."
They had a moment of awkward silence.
Then she said,"It's fine. We're just having fun together. Nothing serious. I'm not too bothered with it."
"Don't let dad pressure you into anything."
"I won't."
Arthur would have loved to bitch about their dad with his sister, but she wasn’t usually game for that. Plus she seemed too tired for any conversation, period. He started the good-bye process and was off the phone in a couple of minutes.
***
He went to check on Bernard, expecting him to be asleep. To Arthur's surprise, Bernard was awake.
"Let's get back to what we were doing before," Bernard said.
Arthur found he was kind of in the mood now. At least more so than before.
Go to Chapter Twelve
Go Back to Chapter Ten
No comments:
Post a Comment